Wed, Oct. 22nd, 2008, 10:34 am
Making this post on a G1 at the t-mobile store! Its great, pretty much.. resist the urge to buy this with half your check...resist...
Wed, Oct. 22nd, 2008, 09:21 am
So how's it going having a preganant wife?
Oh, maybe it's just me.
Sun, Oct. 19th, 2008, 01:34 am
"It’s obviously unfair to dislike a song because of the appearance of the band that recorded it. Yet the very sound of “Two Princes” evokes the way the Spin Doctors looked. With its riff repeated long past endurance, dopey lyrics and abominable vocal scatting, it could only have been the work of scrabbly beared, questionably hatted, red-eyed stoners staggering out of the rehearsal room convinced they have discovered the missing link between grunge, the Grateful Dead and Jamiroquai — blissfully unaware that no one in his right mind was looking for that in the first place."
I couldn't have said it better myself. It may have been the fact that it's 1:30 am, but that slayed me!
I think this kind of thing is what Livejournal is for.
Mon, Oct. 13th, 2008, 12:12 pm
Comment and I will....
a) Tell you why I friended you.
b) Associate you with something -- a fandom, song, color, photo, etc.
c) Tell you something I like about you.
d) Tell you a memory I have of you.
e) Ask you something I've wanted to know about you
f) Tell you my favorite userpic from your list
g) In return, you need to post this on your own LJ.
Hey, I have a website now! Check it suckas!
So I have my own site now, thanks to Cameron! It's at
So I'm pretty much trying to blog on there now. Also, it's a forum for people to pester my brain and utilize my need to research things.
Dear family members: Nothing. Is. Happening. I hate phones. I don't get it. If you don't like, say, instant messaging, because you type like crap and don't want to sit in front of the computer and hate the crap AOL or MSN gives you, YOU AREN'T EXPECTED TO INSTANT MESSAGE EVERYONE YOU BLEEPING KNOW JUST TO CHAT FOR KICKS AND GIGGLES.
Phones only needed to exist long enough for Internet to surpass dial up modems.
I just finished The Wizard of Earthsea, not so awesome, but about as good as, say, quality tv.
There is a quote in it, that "The more a man grows in knowledge and power, the less and less he is free to choose, until eventually, he does only what he must."
I feel I am bound, gifted, weighted, freed, filled and emptied by a gift. A gift, a talent, a disposition, an ability--but I am feeling it more daily. My testimony, before God and man, is that the Spirit of God opened my eyes. I had knowledge, I had ability, I had everything lined up, but something about life seemed small, the world was a puzzle, and I knew not why.
But God has rubbed the dirt of the earth in my eyes, and I see more and more. I see everything, all at once, I see from a wide perspective, I see the world through a submission to the understanding of Wisdom beyond this world. I am not bound, or obligated, or driven, but INSPIRED, FILLED WITH BREATH, to continue.
I learn about old things, keep up on new things, research big ideas, evaluate small ideas, talk to people not to pass time, but to truly understand--not them or the world exclusively, but GOD, entirely. THE God, whose miracles grow infinitely greater while growing infinitely simpler. I do not rest well, because I fear most comfort and worldly success--having more things, and staking my claim to that which my hands had created.
What is required of me, what is to be done, what is the answer? What is asked of me? What can I do? Ultimately, WHO am I? Am I anything, beyond my presence? Am I a person, beyond my station?
My mind works like a filtering system, weeding everything out, meticulously working everything from every angle at once, nonstop, which made me strange and gifted in my former life. But now, I am given a Grace to add, the yeast to my dough, the rain to my garden, and the most distressing thing of all is that I am coming up with answers. No, I don't tell people what I see, what I know, what I feel, what I think, what I forsee or understand. My wife gets all of that which I can possibly verbalize, much of it coming out as nonsense in it's infancy. But there is something that is to be known, and it is beautiful in its simplicity, its timelessness, its place in the world, its meaning, its truth, its importance, and the ability of men to ignore and fight it. I see only 2 real paths in life that are truely right and just--those that either clothe themselves in rags, or commit themselves to a family, and either shout to the masses or whisper to their children, the same message said a thousand thousand ways--GOD IS IMMANENT, THE HOUR OF GOD IS AT HAND, THE END IS NEAR, JESUS LOVES YOU...
Perhaps it is best that nobody read this. But perhaps not. I'll err on the side of sounding like a fool, rather than on the side of isolation. But one day, maybe I'll find out how to reach IT, that thing that's inside of us, inside of you, that you know is there. I know you feel it, your life screams it, I know I feel it, I live in it. The Earth itself crys out for it. I see it in everything, documentaries, mice, "what do you want, Butchie Yost?", drunks, haircuts, glances, sentences, clean clothes, dirty clothes, work, my job, this computer.
I am weary, but I know I can keep on. For any reason.
For now we see as through a glass, darkly, but then face to face.
Fri, Aug. 22nd, 2008, 10:24 am
In other news, I'm writing something.
In yet other news, I've decided what would be my ideal lifestyle.
I want to live in a reasonably self-sufficient(just more independent of the machine than 99% of the modern world), intentional community, of people who just love Jesus, love people, with selfless ideals and a passion for pushing things back to their roots. I'd be the gardener/farmer as well as the cook/herbalist. Mae would certainly be suited for handling the small children and teaching the young ones. Well, that's food and childcare right there. Now we need a small amount of other people and we can do this thing. I'm not trying to ignore society, leeching off the protection of a culture diametrically opposite of mine(cough, Amish, cough). I'm looking to live somewhere, anywhere, and show that you can not just fight, but rise above the system, that it can't fight you if you aren't in it. The worst thing you can do to a government or social system of violence and oppression is battle it--it is a hate machine that feeds off strife, debt, suffering, toil and the million profitable ways to commit suicide of the course of a few short decades.
I strive to be unwanted by society. Rather than rebel, public enemy, threat, or terrorist, call me a lunatic, fool, crackpot, madman and not worth the trouble. I want to be so small, that I'm free to live a lifestyle that bleeds love and passion to the point of threatening decent society. I want to be simple, and live life in a direct fashion, and I want people around me who will give and take harsh criticism when anything is done out of any reason but pure love. I have learned quickly that in a marriage, it can be give-and-take, where everything is compromise, or it can be a ceaseless action of expression of one thing--"I love you!". I make the bed, ostensibly to keep it clean, organized, etc(but beds need to breathe and it's just as easy to get into when It's messy)...the real reason is because I know she likes it, and I want her to know I love her enough to go out of my way to arrange a bed. I don't see how this can fail, when your life and every minor action, rooted in love, becomes a testament to your passion and love for all things. Ultimately, it will kill you, because that by which a man lives is that which will kill him.
Where are you, our compatriots?
Fri, Aug. 22nd, 2008, 08:51 am
I have a few days off of work, so I am trying to wring my brain to figure out what to do for a living. I need a new job.
Bank of America is doing a mighty fine job of ruining my life. I wake up feeling guilty for all the shit they put me through, making me feel like a thief for trying to eat breakfast in the morning. No more banks for me. Money is bad enough, fake money is worse. I can't afford to live only making $7.50 an hour. Yeah, $7.50, to pay for the insurance, house, electricity, phone(for the job), car(for the job), work clothes(job), food(survival)--all the stuff that I have to have lest I die of starvation and elements or get tossed in jail. Anyone who thinks how much money you make is "private" or "impolite for conversation" is just promoting a social tenant that allows people like the shareholders and managers of Panera Bread Co to pay me $7.50 an hour...Because my and many, MANY other people's disasterously low payscale is directly affecting our abilities to live a life beyond the indentured sharecropper status we've so cleverly masked.
It's a tough world out there, full of cops, bankers, and assistant managers. It's a strange feeling to root on the crashing lines on every chart in the section of the paper entitled "Money". I'm on the most abused rung of society, and I couldn't think of a more advantageous situation for plebeians like me than an economic depression. If you are getting anything or everything from your parents, trust me when I say that being "free" from them is not remotely worth it, and if it's your choice--don't.
I feel like I'm being chased, hunted, I've got something riding right up behind me, and it's screwing up my dreams at night.
A word to the populace about Panera. Ever seen one of those Trolley-Buses? You know, the bus that looks like a trolley, but it's not a cable-car. Panera is to a Burger King what a Trolley-bus is to a regular bus. It looks nice and different, but it's not. They claim to be doing one thing, but they don't care whatsoever. The employees have emphasis on 2 things only: portion restriction and time. Get out whatever is barely "up to spec" and get it out as fast as you possibly can. Food safety is just whatever appeases the inspector, often only when he's there. Customer service is only on a complain-first basis. Speed FAR outweighs quality, employee morale, safety, cleanliness, customer satisfaction, and(oddly enough) even productivity.
As a company, they don't actually care about bread, people, meals, comfort, or any of that nonsense. They care about getting as much money out of YOUR pocket and putting it in THEIR pocket as possible. Having exceeded the requirements for a successful business scenario, the company presses on into profiteering, raising prices(oh yes, the are going up!), keeping wages at a BARE minimum, and purchasing substandard products anytime the consumer isn't looking.
That brings us to the food. Sure, anti-biotic free chicken meat. Fresh strawberries. Low-Fat dressing. They don't bother with the facts that the eggs are from cage-raised hens, with paper-thin, bleached shells and yolks so worthless they couldn't make a chicken if they wanted to. Ever seen canned strawberries? No? BECAUSE THEY TURN INTO SYRUP. They have to be "fresh strawberries, ooh la lah", unlike the canned fruit that's on the rest of the salad. And for health concerns, all of our food is the empty calorie-laden, GM corn and soy based food science marvels america has come to know and purchase. Is our food cost higher than that of a Taco Bueno? Yes. Is it worth paying 8 dollars for a salad? NO NO NO NO NO. I can barely justify eating there with a 65% discount, often because it is the only food I have available to me at the pay THEY ARE PAYING ME. It's a daily--yes, DAILY--occurrence that someone working at a place that sells food is hungry for their whole shift, and not enough money to eat anything.
Please teach yourself to cook. It's one of the best things you can do for your fellow man and yourself in modern America.
It's not all bad, I've got a great wife! We used to eat really good, looks like that's gonna end soon. But we still eat pretty well!
And I have a few days off to write and figure out how to get a job I'm not completely ashamed of.
Tue, Jul. 15th, 2008, 07:51 am
YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD GET RID OF ME!!!
Ok so I am on my WIFE'S computer!
Let's see...what has happened...
I GOT MARRIED!!
Married life is the bomb. It's not easy, but it's freaking the best decision I've ever made. And we eat like people should. I recently figured out how to make falafel, fry rice, all kinds of stuff! Man, I'm starving!
My job is still Sucktown, USA. I didn't get one at Whole Foods, but I'm currently aggressively pursuing a job at Half-Price Books that I think I can get. Any advice on getting hired/working at Half Price would be appreciated.
We're having Family Dinner on Thursday night here at Chez Burke. I wish our apartment had a name, like BOB Sanford.
I'm really bored as of late. Like, REALLY bored. It's mostly because my job is soul-suckingly dull and I work these bogus shifts where I get there so early, I open the food line, and work through lunch, leave during the slowest time, and come back and close the line--usually I don't have time to leave work, so I wind up being there for 10-14 hours and get paid like 60 bucks to do it. Which is extremely unacceptable. After that, I'm so tired and out of time that I come home and make dinner and try to calm down/cheer up/entertain my wife for like an hour and go to bed, and wake up with no time to spare, wishing I'd slept more.
BORED. I need to apply my brain. And everyone at work has been as useful for good conversation as a mop bucket.
Cameron and I got a bunch of boards for the ramps over in Campus West at First Euless. I hope I can figure my place in all of that, and I hope I have one.
I spent $52 on gas, 15 days ago, and now I'm close to empty and it's payday. I get an 83 hour check(7 overtime). I'm happy my car is so efficient and I have kept myself within certain boundaries. But you gotsta when there isn't a bus to be had!
So life in Arlington. Everyone here eats too much meat. Nobody likes to think. Everyone's kinda rude to each other. Everyone is VERY self-assured. And the worst, it's the most "churched" place in America. The number one Christian radio station, the Bible Network TV channel, and Megachurches galore are all based here--DFW, TX. Every car has an Icthys, every person as a Crucifix, every family has a church service. But I can guarantee you, without batting an eye, that if 1/100th of the people who claim such a thing, who nod in agreement on Sunday morning, who profess their faith in their choice of radio station LIVED it, this place would NOT look like this. Every business is a chain, every person is out for number one, profit is the gospel and entertainment is God.
I can't tell you how often I've said,"Is that a local business or what?" and someone says,"Yeah, it's real small, family thing. There's only like 15 of them altogether. They just got one in Oklahoma." And for future reference, if you live in Arlington, Plano is NOT local.
I've also seen a lot of people and businesses who choose to listen to KLTY, the Christian station, but usually just because it's good for business and they don't cuss. I saw a billboard from the station itself that simply said,"94.9, KLTY Family Radio", and I thought,"I bet that's the Christian station. I tuned my dial to it, heard that proto-country pop sound and sure enough, Christian station.
Churches are everywhere here, and they are HUGE, with big signs and fancy buildings. It's more normal here to buy a warehouse or a theater building for your church than to buy a strip-center lease or old restaurant. With that many hundreds of thousands of people going and funding, there shouldn't be any need anywhere in Dallas-Fort Worth, but very VERY few are DOING.
You know what's strange? I can read the whole newspaper nowadays. I never used to, but now I can read the whole thing, and it's mildly interesting. I even read the MONEY section and laugh and chuckle as I read how the U.S. economy is sinking like a lead brick in the ocean and people are PAINFULLY oblivious to it. I've never known how to deal with the fact that I know about these things before they happen, as I pay attention to the end fallout of situations, and I get told I'm weird or crazy or stupid or too young to understand, and then when it does, those people are baffled and confused like a kid who just realized he'd hurt himself and looks like,"Why did this happen?!" It's just a morbid fascination, honestly--when I was a kid, I'd watch stock shows on PBS and giggle when I saw who's stock went down overnight. I just was entertained by the fact that a whole company is worth more and less all the time, and people monitor international corporations to the penny. Now, I can only look for who's stock DIDN'T fall overnight. Pair that with inflation, job loss, oil prices, lack of education, and a heady, rapid decline in values of Right and Wrong and you've got a country that, socioeconomically, looks like a wounded animal on a riverbank.
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